Cohesive family units all pull together for the common good if the family wealth is to last for more than a generation or two. It becomes a sense of "we" and never "me" within the family bond.

Family meetings become mandatory tools for defining and implementing the mission, systems, and core values in which the family becomes a comprehensive unit all swimming as a school together at the same speed and in the same direction. Organizing a family meeting with three or more generations to come together in one place can be quite the challenge. However, many of us see it as essential to the families’ long-term well being. Let it be clear that family meetings are not a ‘here today gone tomorrow’ passing fad like the new hip thing in today’s society. Legacy families such as the Rothschilds and Rockefellers have assembled their families on a regular basis for decades. Successful meetings promote the shared vision and sense of purpose that unite our families and keep them from drifting apart. It is also important for spouses who join the family to understand and appreciate the family’s core values, goals and beliefs.

The family collectively should discuss time tables for meetings, guidelines for how issues should be presented and decisions made as well as divisions of responsibility for determining each family members role. Lastly, accountability mechanisms and consequences good and bad should always be clear with all family members at all times.

Family meetings usually have three components. The first is about family business where investments and foundation are reviewed and important decisions made. Everything from family business succession to estate planning, from investment performance to the management of philanthropic interests are discussed. The second includes and educational program in which younger family members are schooled in the families values and the basics of finance. A talent for managing money is not passed down through our genes; it is something that must be taught and learned. A lot more families are thinking and implementing wealth education for the younger generations. While some families put a premium on secrecy outside the family circle, the family meeting is not a time to exclude the family’s advisors who may assist in assuring decisions are made correctly as well as implemented in the best interests of the family.

The last component is fun. Family meetings should have an element of recreation to blow off steam and bond as a family unit. It is critical to have a good facilitator in order for the family meeting to run effectively.